What if the plans we made were the only holiday plans I had… and you bailed because you were overextended and didn’t call. Well… it’s simple, You suck.
I don’t do Christmas. Nope, that isn’t a thing in my house. I do Un-Christmas. I did take time to visit with friends, and for my annual christmas day-trip snowboarding – This year to Banff’s Sunshine Village, followed by soaking the winter cold away in the warmth of the Banff Hot-springs with a friend. I love my un-christmas, and this year was no different, most who made plans bailed… and I did the same as usual – what I want.
So what is this post about? Holiday plans accountability.
It only matters if you care. I tell myself that so I don’t get so disappointed with people. This time of year plans seem to be more transient – and some people feel justified in saying “yes” to all the things as they have no clue how to say no! WHY!!! Year after year I’m amazed at the stress levels some allow themselves to escalate to, and continuously saddened by how many plans are made in the emotion of the moment with no actual intent to attend. And I still remain fully jaw dropped at the antics that coincide with the christmas phenomena of mandatory gift giving – I’ll save that rant for another post.
This is the time of year that a invites are extended with out intention, or invitations are purposefully withheld leaving some out often for fear of ill group social dynamics. There are also invitations with more weight to attendance than should be. I say you are what you do. I’m also learning most who claim to be good at Christmas, are the worst representation. Fuck Christmas.
I make less plans.
Less plans = less expectations = less disappointment.
That being said, I still give benefit of the doubt to some, and make plans, and again I am disappointed by some. I understand that some are overextended, and for some it’s unavoidable – shit happens. But for those friends that overextended is happening again – and again? And in that… once again I am not overextended, and holding space for plans that have no intention to be kept. My time is valuable, and this time of year the lack of respect for my time gets – well get overextended by those who are, well… too overextended to see how they are hurting others.
If I make plans with you over the holidays – you are the only plans I have. If you bail on me, especially if you ghost – I may judge you for it. I do not make back-up plans nor multiple plans in the chance people will bail. Why is this really a thing? What kind of selfish person does that? If plans change – own it and communicate!
Now we’ve all had life go sideways, it happens. Communicate with your people. Ghosting on friends over the holidays is a super sad reflection of your state of chaos. I try repeatedly not to take it personally – this is a challenge, as I take it personally.
If your life is that transient that you do not think it is important to communicate with the people you gave your word to, those holding space for your agreed plans… you have serious room for growth – Get your shit together, you’re failing at adult’ing.
With more holiday plans made and gone “poof” – I accepted, painted, and was happy.
Ho Ho holly crap I’m glad christmas is done!
And with that… today’s painting is a 10 x 20 inch acrylic fluid dirty flip cup on gallery wrapped canvas posted with my water mark.