Today has no shame.
For those who know what chemo level nausea is – I’m sorry you can relate. Be strong.
For those who don’t – Today I woke up soaked through in a sweat and knew I was in trouble. I did find a brief moment in my hot flash where I found it oddly amusing how wet I was before the nausea hit. I was able to swirl my finger in my sweat on stomach and it reminded me of one of my flow paintings – I made it to the bathroom – barely, and hurled so hard I thought I may have shit myself. I hadn’t – sphincters holding – wining! Yet then I laughed so hard I almost shit myself laughing at the thought of puking so hard that I almost shit myself… so in a heap on the bathroom floor, I dry-heaved until the nausea passed.
Even the smoke that helps me through the nausea – well nauseated me. Its that day.
For the fear of shit, I also feared going too far from the bathroom… so walking or stairs isn’t happening today. Humbly invited a friend to try some yoga with me at home – F’you downward dog! more nausea… Childs pose it is for me today (wondering if my friend noticed my childspose-tap-out or just thought I was really breathing into it as the program ran on without me moving). Im not asking, she’s not telling.
I’m calling it a day. Now its my version of upside-down Childs pose… happening while on the couch, and under a blanket.
It’s a good day, I got this typed out before resuming childs pose with a shark-fin F’you.